bluecollardollar: on maternity leave

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Your employer is also suffering the same anxiety. Your contribution will obviously missed. The time spent on your maternity leave should be a stress free time for both the mother (and sometimes the father) and the employer. Each party has a vested interest in your job and the impact your absence will have.

The employer's greatest and often unspoken fear is the "mommy drain", the loss of an employee who either never returns to work. The new "mommy" on the other hand wonders whether the job will be worth returning to or as fulfilling as it previously was.

While there are many things to consider if you are planning to leave work to have a child, the first and foremost should be an honest conversation with your employer. While you may not feel like you are in a position to negotiate with your boss, they realize the consequences of losing you or retraining your replacement.

There are some simple things your can negotiate with your employer before you leave to have your baby.

Ask for a longer leave. Although you may not need more time, an open discussion about the length of your leave will allow you to adjust to your newborn while making arrangements for their care after the initial months pass.

Understand the benefits you have. Many employers can begin to restrict access to benefits after a prolonged period of time. Birth can come with some unanticipated complications. Should that happen, you want to be clear about who pays what and what benefits are available. Even if the benefits don't seem as generous as you would like them to be, the element of surprise, which is usually financial in nature will be removed from the list of unknowns. This will allow you to make alternative plans if necessary.

Discuss in advance what your job will be like when you return. It is possible that your employer will agree to some provisions, if only temporary, for the returning worker. They may involve such things as reduced travel and shorter hours when you return to work. While telecommuting may seem attractive before the baby is born, it won't seem so afterwards. You can however be cc'd on emails or sent important updates if only to stay-in-touch. But do so only if your employer knows that you will not respond to them.

If you do decide not to return to work, you owe your employer the courtesy of advance notice as early as possible. Be prepared to have any and all benefits terminated immediately upon notification that you will not be returning as well as some hurt feelings on both sides.